How to Make Friends as an Adult

**How to Make Friends as an Adult (AND Keep 6 Feet Apart!)**

Making new friends as an adult can be challenging for most of us. Let’s talk about some simple, straightforward ways to spark some new friendships…

But first, let’s gather some perspective on making friends as grown-up peeps.

If you plotted the ease of making friends on a graph over time, you would see a curve that’s conversely related to age. In other words, making new friends gets harder as we get older.

We’re busy. Overcommitted. Overworked. Overwhelmed.

Hey—We’re Over-everything!

So, who even has time for themselves let alone for friends?

Well, let’s see. Over the past couple of years, I think we have found out how valuable a few good friends you can count on really are. We knew it all along, didn’t we?

Here’s a wake-up call stat for you…

“Survey: Average American Hasn’t Made a New Friend — In 5 Years!“

—from StudyFinds.org

And here’s another one to consider…

The average adult man in their 40s and 50s has an average of 0.7 close friends AND… that 70% of a whole friend usually lives in another city.

I couldn’t find the source to validate this statistic, so treat it as you would any other unsubstantiated information you read on the internet. Um, wait—don’t do that.

But do ponder both for a moment.

I had to chew on that last one for a while. I know it’s been true for me, although I’ve had several friends I would call best friends, I’ve only had one “best friend” who lived in the same city since college.

And that’s been a few years.

Making friends as a “Grown-Up”

Now, what if we look at the flip side of the friendship equation?

As grown-ups (and I mean that chronologically), I believe we can agree most of us find making new friends much harder than it was when we were younger.

And always remember this, a good friend is worth everything to your health, sanity, and survival. And worth every bit of what you put into having one and being one.

The key is being a friend first.

It’s time for some of those tips I promised…

1. Stop scrolling. Get out there. Make human connections.

Okay, we’ve probably both made a friend or two from behind the keyboard. It’s possible and it happens. AND… it’s not the easiest way on the planet.

It’s the friend-making equivalent of a robocall.

The first and most important strategy is to find some comfortable ways to get yourself out among other people who are also looking to connect with new friends.

2. Practice the art and craft of reaching out.

The cool thing about email, social media, and the various messaging tools out there is that it allows you to keep a safe distance.

Repeat after me. It’s reaching out. It’s not a marriage proposal. So don’t hang your feelings on your invitations.

Reaching out is as simple as “Hey if you’re open to it, let’s grab coffee sometime.”

PRO TIP: If that sounds too open-ended, try firming up the invitation with a straightforward message where you suggest concrete plans with a time and place. “Hey, I have tickets to the game. Would you like to join me?”

3. Keep an open mind here… Take a class.

Think about it. When we were younger, we met most of our friends at school. It still works.

The key is don’t take just any class. Make it something you’re interested in. BOOM! You have a room full of people with a common interest.

4. If classes and school aren’t your things, join a group centered around an activity.

Think running, cycling, hiking, dancing, yoga… you get the idea. Again, you’ll be in a group of like-minded people who are into the same activity.

It works just like taking a class, except you might be working up a sweat.

5. Everybody needs a cause… so get involved with one you care about.

Find something you care about deeply. Helping to make your community a better place with people in your city is a great way to have a great time.

You’ll feel good about doing something that matters, and you’ll form bonds with others who share your passion.

We’ve let ourselves become too comfortable living behind the screens.

Get yourself out there! Do more of what you love. Go places. Do things. Talk to people.

The answer is in the going and the doing. Getting out among your kind of people.

These things take time, especially when we’re out of practice. So, be patient, go easy on yourself, and make sure you let yourself have some fun.

I’ll wrap this one up with something we don’t realize. We’re not alone in this journey to find new friends as adults—they are looking for new friends too.

Be untucked.

p.s. You know what, one of the best ways to reach out to someone is to share something you found helpful. If that’s the case and you found this post useful, why not share it with someone along with an invitation to meet for coffee, a beer, or the beverage of your choice?

p.p.s. I’ve already started writing a follow-up article, so keep an eye out. It’ll be coming soon.