When a friend leaves us too soon…

Note: This isn’t a typical LifeUntucked post… take a pause first

“I post on Wednesdays,” it says below. But once again, it’s Thursday… and I’m still trying to find words.

Yes, life can get in the way… at times, in an unexpected way.

My world has been shaken. I’m disoriented.

As much as I would always prefer to write about strategies for lightening our load and living a better life so we can go about with a kick in our step, life isn’t always going to cooperate.

Is it?

Sometimes our world is thrown off kilter. We don’t like the hand we’re dealt. But deal with it we must.

I was recently telling someone about LifeUntucked. He said, “So, you’re writing about the life you’d like to live.”

Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly it! “… like to live” is key, because I’m working on it too. It doesn’t always come naturally. I’m figuring this out, while sharing my journey and my observations.

Life, and living “untucked,” must also be about loss… one doesn’t come without the other.

Last Wednesday, one of my very best friends in this world passed away after a very short, but noble fight with cancer. It was the day before his 57^th birthday.

Yesterday (Wednesday) we laid him to rest.

Drew was the hardest working and most determined person I have known. Ever.

For him, it was always a singular focus on the goal. Grit. Passion. Perseverance. That was his formula. And it worked for him. I’ve seen countless examples.

Yes, he had his share of bumps in the road. False starts.

“What’s next? Let’s move on.” No time for downers.

I was a little angry at how busy his world had become. It wasn’t like years gone by, when we would hang out just about anytime we felt like it.

I’m a little angrier about one thing… we both tried, but not hard enough to get together more often in recent years.

In times like these, it’s important to see feelings for what they are. It feels a little selfish. But it’s the process the heart goes through to try to make sense of something that makes little sense. Another very wise friend counsels, “Take time to get back; embrace what your going through.” And I will…

I’ve now realized it isn’t how busy, but rather, how full his life had become. And he lived large with an unshakable focus on his faith in God, on his wife and soulmate, on his family, and on his role as a provider.

Here’s a guy I didn’t really think I was writing to as I’ve imagined LifeUntucked. But, I now believe I’m very wrong about that.

His family put together an amazing slideshow of their life together that played throughout the celebration of life service and reception afterward.

It told the story of a big life, lived to its fullest. I don’t know why I never noticed that huge heart-felt smile that was in every photo. Maybe it was because it was true, because it was real? That smile wasn’t a feature, it was the person.

This guy knew how to live, he knew how to live well, and he lived large… and that was that.

In closing, I dedicate this post to a fraternity brother, an adopted brother, a best friend,  “best man,” and to an amazing human who lived a very big life and cast an even bigger shadow. (I stole that last bit from the service… because it’s true, and I don’t want to be the only one bragging on my friend).

This one’s for you Drew Hudel.

We’ll see you on the other side, my friend.